He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
