I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
