yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
