I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
