ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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