Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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