I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
