Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
North Korea, Best Korea!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
