So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
