just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
