Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
