I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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