The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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