remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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