Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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