I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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