thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
