Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She's the barista slut.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
