We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
