ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
