oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
