Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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