carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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