You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
