You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize