the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If that was your dad, he is hot
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
