white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
