Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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