hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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