My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
