He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
