Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
