: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
