Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
