your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
