Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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