so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
