I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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