we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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