I hate all girls vehemently.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
