Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
