i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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