Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
