Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
