If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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