I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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