a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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