Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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