dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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