My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
