its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i came on her dog
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
