the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
