Pants 0. Shit 1.
we made out on top of his cat.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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