And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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