I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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