Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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