dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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