i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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